Holding on in four parts
by Falcon Horus
Summary: Teyla/Kate/Elizabeth Season 4 AU, reference to Lifeline & Doppelganger
1. Hope

**Hope**

There was a cold wind blowing around Atlantis. This planet was different than the last one, or at least the place where they had landed was different than the last location. The clouds above were packing and soon there wouldn't be a blue patch left but only grey, a dark shade of grey. It looked like it would be raining soon. Beyond the whistling of the wind between the tall building there was no other sound, no other sound than the beating of her heart. It was the sound of a broken heart, the sound of a heart in pain.

"Kate?" A gentle hand landed on her shoulder and she glanced around at the person who found her out on the balcony. "You should come inside." She shook her head a little and turned back to stare at the ocean and the horizon so far away. A different ocean. A different horizon. "You will get sick." There was a slight tuck, a gesture urging her to comply. "Elizabeth would not want you getting sick."

Elizabeth. Her Elizabeth. The one whom she had loved, had given her heart, her soul and everything else she possessed. Her Elizabeth. Elizabeth.

"Kate?" The voice was soft and caring, and she let go. She just let go. All her strength left her body and she sank down to the ground, disappearing in the arms of her companion, crying. Tears mingled with the rain that came down from the sky, as if the Ancients themselves were weeping for the loss of the once great leader. "I am so sorry." She held on tightly, letting her grief and sorrow be free. "We will find her again. John promised." The voice quivered and she knew in that moment she wasn't alone. Not alone.

As if on cue the sun broke through the clouds, as if a promise was made and this was their way of saying not to give up hope but to believe. Hope and believe.


	2. Believe

**Believe**

Teyla watched her sleep, listening to her soft whimpering, watching her fingers dig deeper into the empty pillow by her side. The blanket lay astray, kicked away during her nightmare. Kate shivered and curled up in a tight little ball.

She got up from where she was sitting and made her way towards the bed, gently tucking the woman in. This was their inner sanctum, to which Teyla had never been privileged to be in there with them. Her heart clenched together at the thought of the two people she loved the most in the whole wide world, yet so far out of reach all the time that she had settled with their friendship instead.

She sighed and turned to the window, watching the spire of Atlantis reach out to the sky. If only she had been there, maybe she could have prevented Elizabeth's capture. John had told her she had sacrificed herself, bought them time to escape, gave them a chance to save the city, to safe Atlantis. But what was that sacrifice worth in the end? She had left them behind, left them in doubt whether she was alive or not. Left Kate. Left her. Left them.

Teyla turned as she heard Kate's whimpering turning into murmuring as another nightmare raged through her sleeping mind. Tossing and turning, throwing the blanket off again. She hesitated but then closed the distance and sat down by her side. She stretched her hand out, hovering it over Kate's upper body. She took a deep breath and then landed her hand on the woman's shoulder, who violently jolted awake, looking wide eyed and gasping for breath. She turned to her and Teyla saw the pain in her eyes, the loss and something she couldn't identify.

The first kiss was slow and careful, searching. The second filled with need and the third was crashing. Teyla knew it was wrong but the pull was too great and she devoured the pale flesh beneath her. They both were in need of this strange comfort. The pain would be dulled, if only for a little while. But there would be questions later, with no answers. Awkward moments with no solution. Looks. And maybe a smile.


	3. Lost

**Lost**

Kate sat behind her computer, staring at the screen, her fingers hovering over the keys. She looked down at her hands and noticed she was trembling. The fear was still there, she was still feeling the remnants of the entity. If Teyla hadn't been there with her, and saved her from a horrible death, she would have been send home in a box, like Carson. Like...

She pulled her hands away from the keyboard and clasped them together in her lap, turning to stare outside. She felt the first tears rolling down her cheeks and did nothing to stop them. She didn't know how, didn't want to either. She had become fragile. On the outside, she looked like she had always looked, confident and trustworthy. On the inside she was dying, slowly dying, piece by piece. Dying. Her relationship with Teyla was build on loss and pain. Could she even call it that, a relationship? Or was it an escape from the misery they were in. They both had lost someone they loved. In the heat of the moment they would scream her name, scream for her. Where was she? Was she even alive?

Elizabeth.

The chime of her door alerted her to someone's presence, and Kate quickly swiped at her tears, putting on her mask. She answered the door with a deep breath and awaited the person on the other side with a confident smile.


	4. Found

**Found**

She stood in front of the familiar door, hesitating. It had been too long, too long without her. So much space and time between them, that she was afraid what they had was long gone.

They had observed her, quarantined her for three whole days. She had been prodded and scrutinized, always guarded by at least two marines. Men she knew, trusted to keep her and everyone else safe. She had seen their faces, but not hers. Not Kate's.

Kate. Her Kate. Kate.

She waited, counting, debating until at last she reached up to the chime. She could hear her own beating heart, every fiber of her being anticipating to see that familiar face. Her mind drifted to the last time they were together, to their last night and then she had been gone aboard the Apollo. In their last moment together she had wiped her tears away, had shushed her fears and held her until it was time to part.

She jumped at the sound of the door opening, meeting a familiar face, yet not the one she was hoping for. "Teyla?" She said slightly startled.

"Elizabeth." Teyla didn't seem in the least bit surprised she was standing there, waiting. "Kate's asleep." The Athosian continued. "She was exhausted."

"Can I come in?" She needed to see her face, touch her, feel her warm body underneath her hands, in her embrace. Teyla nodded and stepped aside to let her enter. Elizabeth slowly made her way over to the bed, eyeing the outlines of Kate's body underneath the blanket. She looked slightly flushed, sleeping on her side of the bed. "She looks beautiful." Teyla nodded as she sat down on the other side, Kate's side. Slowly realization started to dawn on her and all started to make more sense, yet she wasn't yet ready to accept that. "Can I wake her?" There was another nod, and she perched herself on the edge. Her hand moved on its own accord as it touched her hair, stroked her cheek, down to her shoulder and her bare arm, lying on top of the blanket. The tingling sensation going through her fingers, up her arm and all the way to her heart, made her realize the feelings were still real. "Kate..." Elizabeth whispered, her voice carrying the love she had for this extraordinary woman. "Kate, I'm home."

Kate stirred and murmured softly, turning away from Elizabeth. Teyla tilted her head a little as she noticed the hurt in Elizabeth's eyes.

"Maybe I shouldn't..." Elizabeth got up as if she had burned herself. "It's been too long." She shook her head and took a few steps back.

"She loves you." Teyla said, without looking at the diplomat. "She needs you." Her voice was steady, which surprised Elizabeth. "You are the one."

"Teyla..." Kate stirred some more, her hand reaching out to the other woman, voice slurred and filled with sleep.

"It is okay." Teyla shushed, stroking her hair down gently. "There is someone here to see you." She noticed sleepy eyes open, a frown spreading across her forehead. Kate slowly turned back to the door, and to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth didn't dare to move, her arms still next to her body. Her eyes focused on the woman staring back at her, absorbing the image of her, burning her frame into her mind. She hadn't changed much since she had last seen here, maybe lost some weight. Her face looked thinner than last she remembered. Kate's green eyes were wide, her mouth slightly ajar, gazing at her, not believing.

"Elizabeth..." The sound was soft, pleading. She stretched her hand out to her, inviting. Elizabeth moved back to the edge and sat down, allowing her to touch her face. And with that first touch also came the first tears.

Elizabeth held her arms open, inviting Kate in which she did, burying herself in the embrace, holding on for dear life. She closed her arms and held the other woman tightly. Home, at last. She watched as Teyla sat on the other side, at a loss of what to do. She noticed the hurt in her eyes, which locked on the woman in her arms. The final piece of the mystery falling in place as she held out her hand for the Athosian to take, which she did. "Thank you." Teyla nodded, understanding.

They sat together for a while, entwined, before Elizabeth eased down onto the bed. It was a tight squeeze with the three of them together. But they were huddled together so tightly, that neither Elizabeth or Teyla had to worry about falling out. Kate held them together, like glue. Elizabeth sighed, for the first time since coming home to Atlantis, she truly felt like being home, with the woman she loved and with the woman she was about to embrace in her heart, just like Kate had been for the last three years.


End file.
